Some Things Aren't Meant to Be: On Picking Yourself Back Up Again

Some things aren't meant to be. It's rubbish, but it's true. Life throws us all sorts of stuff to deal with when we are least ready to be able to deal with it. But, if you believe that there's a path that's pretty much already laid out for you, like I do, then you'll know that things work out okay in the end. They might not be okay right now, but they will be.

There are some things in our lives that just aren't meant to be part of that path in the long run. They might not last forever, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they weren't supposed to happen. My friend Natalie says that people come into our lives for a lifetime, for a season or for a reason; I'd like to stretch that to situations and circumstances. Some things are happy and they might last forever, or they might be a constant struggle. Some things happen for a short time, they might be sad or they might be happy. And there are things in life that happen to us or that we are part of because we are purely supposed to learn from those things. It might be a lesson that results in a change of behaviour, opinion or outlook, or it might be that we are supposed to learn to live with or without something, or maybe we're supposed to value something in a way that we didn't know it was possible. Regardless, things challenge us to make us stronger.

The scary and awful thing about getting stronger, is that you have to feel weaker for a while first. That's the bit that sucks ass. But the important thing is that we need to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and carry on. If we didn't, we'd be pretty stuck.

Picking yourself up is easier said than done. But you'll get there.

Take a bath. Get dressed that day. Sleep. Cry. Scream. Throw things. Take time out. Find some headspace. Be alone. Don't be alone. Spend time with friends. Watch tv sit-coms. Light a candle. Remember to eat. Talk. Think about where you want to be in a week, a month, a year, three years. Do anything you need to, but remember that there is something at the other end. There's something after all of shit bits that's worth riding out the storm for. Take the time that you need and then stand up and carry on.

We got this.