It's been a ghost town on A Little Space for Elphie recently, but over the past few weeks my life has been anything but. I've been one busy bunny. And now I am one very tired not-so-busy bunny. Naturally, having nothing to do right now, I thought that I should reconnect with my very neglected blog...this is proving to be difficult.
I'll fill you in on the situation...I currently have 4 unfinished posts just waiting to be completed and let out onto the big scary world wide wed but I can't bring myself to finish a single one of them. Seriously, I add a line and then click save and close. Help.
I just can't help it and I don't know what to do about it. On one hand I want my blog to be humorous yet interesting, with a gorgeous clean blog design and healthy traffic figures, on the other hand I just feel like packing it all in and abandoning ship. I look back at my previous posts and some of them are good, but most are mediocre at best. Then I look at my page view figures and I'm lucky to get 40 views on a post...it feels like, what's the point in talking when no one is listening?
It feels hopeless, I have zero motivation to post anything on here at all, let alone post the sort of material that I aspire to produce. So it feels like any efforts to continue would be futile. I look at, my friend, Milly's blog and I envy her gorgeous layout and signature. I hear about my friend, Leanne's successes with her blog and see her brand new fabulous YouTube channel. And then I'm just sat here with my 3 subscribers.
This post is very VERY woe is me (for that I apologise), and yet life is not bad: my family is good, I start a new job in a week and I had a chocolate muffin today. Life is not bad. At all. But still I can't help but feel low and like I'm severly lacking in anything to shout about.
So, as you have definitely gathered by now, there is no point to this post at all (except at least it is a completed post), the rut that I am in is that I feel inadequate but have no motivation or will-power to do anything about it. At this moment in time I only see the negatives, the fact that I've gained 9 pounds since being single despite having lost 2 stone beforehand, the fact that my last blog post only had 22 page views despite bumping into an old friend in town a few days ago who told me how she religiously follows my posts, and many other personal limitations that are figments of my imagination, including: my fake blonde hair complete with shocking roots and lack of personal achievement even though last night my charity concert raised over £700...
For now, I am not having fun. But normal service will be resumed ASAP and I promise that I shall try not to post depressive posts like this again...
(Even that last promise feels pointless, who am I promising it to? Is anyone even there?)
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